THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

I have fell in love for the second time And I offered this feeling to you Though I know this is forbidden I still push it through
This is really hard Loving a man like you I never thought we'll get to this point That you tried to control this love
For any reason I understand That you will never be mine You have your family And still I envy your wife
But this feeling of mine Kept such envy in my life I'm afraid, yes! afraid To know you'll leave me one time
In years I have learned I have loved you selflessly Behind those tears and thoughts I tried to love even your wife and family
Yes I know it's stupid but this is all of me This is all of my love for you This is all I want to do And I want it because of you
This selfless love end with lies Not just once but most of the time I have given you a chance cause I love you that much
But still you have proven How much you taken me for granted Those secrets that you hide Make my smile broken
This heart that loves you Had to give up his breath That she doesn't want To be hurt again

If I should love again

From the last time that I have posted, I have shared the song that bothers me the whole day. I have make the minds of all people surround me just to figure this song. Without title, lyrics and melody I tried to search it on the net and I failed. It takes me a day to know what was the song, 'till I found my self busy to other things and forgot to look for it. Finally I got escape of that Last song syndrome. It's my off, I went to government office to work for my loan and then after to a mall with my friend we walk that much. We have decided to visit a dentist in the heavy rain I expect less patient. With that expectation I worry not of getting there early so I ask my friend to roam around the mall, anyways it's just across. When we get to the clinic they already cut off, that patients are also waiting to be served. So we decided to try next time and get back home.

Back at home was cold due to heavy rain, I took a sleep 'till night. Finally I watched DVD and it took me two hours. After the movie I tried to look for a news and then I realize its late in the evening, So I found not news but a singing entertainment song. The show got the theme from songs of Barry Manilow, I was waiting for them to sing my all time favorite "I write the song" but I never heard any of them singing it. I found my self humming this familiar song from the television and seem so familiar. I have it's lyrics on my mind so I sing with them in the chorus, If I should love again, if I found someone new...

So this was the song that bothers me for 24 hours, finally I have it on my phone and I would like to sing this to my partner. That I never regret loving him and will choose him If I should love someone new.

Memory G...a...P... What's that?

I had a song in my mind and it keeps bothering me the whole day and I even asks my friends now we are all bothered with this song. We have searched for the lyrics of the song and glad we had it yet we can't remember the lyrics. We are all searching for the song and we had asked lots of people and they are all bothered with this. We keep on reading the lyrics and the melody is playing in our mind yet we can't sing it. That we are all in one harmony but we are all mute.

We are hoping that we could hear the song for us to be reminded so, yet our computer does not have speaker and even though we searched for its song or video we wouldn't be able to hear it. For the last time we want to ask and searched again the net to look for a clue. We seems to be searching for a case with suspects yet lack of evidence. the last would be... FAILED.

Simple Appreciation

I never had any reasons of creating this website, and never did I expect that somebody will appreciate my articles. Most of them are advertisements but this shares a lot to my compilation. A simple memory from my past and my trial as the great mistress never hinders my blogs. As this continue to attract readers like you, I hope that this will not affect you negatively. That always keep the good side of being a mistress and they are all different. Also, I hope that you will not tolerate or to follow the wrong way of life that I had. Instead, keep all those as a lesson and learn that in time somebody will found you to loved and be loved.

There are many people around you in good characters and will be able to give you not only his heart but also his life. That you will always be together 'till death do you part. Allow still those people whom love you despite that you had somebody else or they already tied with marriage. Give them the right appreciation as a friend but don't let the feeling grow to the extend that you can't let it go.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you whom spent their time of reading scanning or visiting my site, hope that it will not the last time to check my blogs. Thank you for being with me in a way of sympathy whenever reading my site.

paid and post

I always want to make money online through this blog of mine. So when I heard that there are sites that are paying for a post, I have searched the net and try to sign up of them all. There is this one site where all blogger were talking about and so I tried payperpost to make prove of those that they were saying. Unfortunately, I don't write often to my blogs and it was too young to be approved so I waited after 3 months. Then after I had the message that I should have 10 posts from the last 30 days, it takes me a week before I absorbed the error and looked for my posts and I found it complete from the past month (10 posts). So I submitted my blog again and the same error that I had and I stop trying making my self believe that it was not true.

After another three months payperpost still bothered me of being rejected and so I tried to write again, I have noticed that most of my articles was advertisements so I make the 10 personal posts and again submitted my url to payperpost after 2 days I have checked my mail, and my blog was been approved. I spread the news to my office mates and really I was happy for this.

Escape Goat

I have loved him though I know I did not on the first time we met. That I was in love to another person whom like him was already married. With my ex partner I always felt that I am not worthy of him and I never felt or even hear him say how much he loves me. Whenever I was asking him of his feelings for me he will turn it out and will reasoned that "you know it is forbidden". I never thought that I will keep loving him despite of how he looked at me as a person. He always compares me to another person and will try to act as them yet I never won his heart and will never be.

Now with this relationship that I had, I felt that I am different person, not that I am a mistress of course. It was that he used to make me feel like I am the only woman in his life, though at the back of my head I know there he's wife. I never felt hatred of his family ever but still I can't blame my mind of loving him as if he's mine. I have love him more than my ex-partner, though our love starts without loving each other but accepting one another, how? I don't know it just happened.

People around me...

When I started to go to church and serve our god I was never connected to my friends around home. Since then I was never been updated of what’s happening in my community, what I only notice since then were the by standers along the streets, and I can’t believe that they are the mothers of the children that I saw crying before we them longing for food to eat and money to buy junk foods. They are all running along the streets without the guidance of their parents. Noticing their bad habit I also observed that they started to stare at every people walking in front of them, judging from head to foot. They also started to talk to other’s personal life.

After resigning to my organization I decided to stay at home since then I started to have a community study. Other problems that I noticed except from the first one was the unwanted pregnancy of my playmates, some cause of innocence and some are curiosity. I really feel bad from what life they have now but what can I do, it’s just happened surprisingly. I remember before everything happens, I hear something, where my playmates mother are talking, they were talking about me! Me? Yes! Me! And their predicted future for me. They say that I’ll get pregnant in my early teen hood and I’ll get family before I graduate.

Now, whenever I saw my playmates and their mother I always remember these scenario. I’m proud that nothing happens to me like what they were expecting to my future, now as I remember that scenes I use to ask my self "how are they related to Nostradamus?".

When loving him is wrong...

Never had I made any regrets of the relationship that I had for four years (still contented). Knowing that we love each other but we both know this is forbidden we still stand over the crowd and show how we love each.

I still remember during my college days where we can't tell anybody about this relationship, I really had a hard time to make discreet. All my classmates were already convinced that I was our professor's mistress, really I was guilty of that yet I should have not admit it in any how they try. But our eyes speak for ourselves so my classmates kept their mouth shout. I had few trusted friends whom was been with me in all those time and through their help I was able to survive of those criticisms and gossips that I know was hitting directly to us. Now we had it for more than four years still stronger yet confusion starts when I felt that I am starting to fall out love.

My new friends in our office were aware of my feelings for him, they were trying to find somebody else for me whom was deserving of my heart and will not hurt me that he will only be mine forever. Unlike this man whom can't offer me marriage and be his wife I still want him after those and rejected those people referred to me. 'Till when this feeling will remain?

Goal 1

Any one of us sets our mind to reach our goals, in reaching this we used to learn things behind and apply them in our daily tasks and responsibilities. These are the things that I've learned from my training, though not enough for a higher position I know this values will help me a lot. For a not experienced applicant like me this may be used as a weakness but it is the strength for me to motivate your self in a higher responsibility that will be given to you upon succeeding with the position. When I was a child I used to wait all my Mom's task for me and honestly I am still doing the same, but I realized that I should have not rely on this kind of motivation. In my younger days these may still be applicable but in my work though there are persons whose pushing me to do such task that was given, it is still me whose going to work with it or not

In this way I shaped my responsibility as a Tele-service Representative, but I realized that I need not to have someone to hold and told me what to do and where to go. After a year of working with Nucomm I have observed my self not often but I make sure that I have gain enough ideas to make my work better than it was. I used to try other things that might help my work be done in manner way and the faster that I can. I am proud to say that I meet more than that self expectations that I had last year. I was able to look for remedies for other issues that before I used to escalate and now I can complete it. I know that in this position more than self motivation is needed and higher expectations are being imposed, but I trust my ability and capability.

Being an English major, high expectations are being imposed especially when it comes to written project. In my college days I had troubles with paper works, and I was given the opportunity to handle the research for the whole course. It is really hard to check some body's work if you alone don't know what you are doing and so I seek help from friends, but I found it more complicated and one thing projects too is my business in my college days. Yes! I am an English major and both our opinions are contradicted (sometimes most of their opinions are not convincing). These project lets me finish my studies, but what if all ideas are already used and need to have knew things to serve my fellow students a quality work that will give them not that great but better than they can have.So looking for someone trusted I tried on the net, read creative writing and other relevant on the matter but only spelling and grammar corrections are available and it really takes time for me to research, also I'm losing much for such to understand and implement the said learning's into my papers so I tried reading some articles just to give me idea regarding the said projects College Essay Topic and Admission Essays, College Application which is based on a real cases and study. You're thinking far from my subject right! No its not, I'm for the cases that have been studied for me to think more ideas. I am looking too, in the grammar and punctuation to apply on such paper works. Yes this really helps me a lot and more than help when it refers me a site. Somehow these such sacrifices for all this project results a good perception to my professor but I need better one, things that from my idea and not copied or was been read and revised from the net. I need something that will provide me things and will improve my ideas regarding my project. Surfing the net really helps, I look for things or site that is connected to writing paper projects which is not expensive and can afford by the students, easy to understand and will not pressure you to to do and create a real paper works and then I had this site that helps me so much. So this gives me A+ for my project thanks for sites such this , students start to surf!!! 'Till today that I am working I am using the said site for I have blogs that I need to review and make my clients satisfy with the articles that I am posing... so guys this is not for students (sad to say academic subjects are being teach in school but we need not to get there we can have it here!!!).

It's a miracle, No father all is just prayer...

Have you heard of the miracles of Fr. Fernando Suarez, well one of the popular was the pregnant Vicky Moralez of GMA-7. She's married for seven years and never had a child, maybe due to busy work as a broadcaster/reporter. Fr. Fernando was popular in his healing miracles, I have watched his masses on Tele-vision and there are huge number of people most were unlucky to be blessed and forgot that they've been there. Thousands were healed and got answered to their prayers, and one of them was the husband of Ms. Vicky. I don't know if he really planed to get on Father Suarez's healing session but he was anle to be blessed regarding the matter and the priest said she'll be pregnant soon.

After 7 weeks Visky got pregnant and from the ultra sound result it was twins. Speaking of ultra sound I just know that there are several kinds or types or whatever they call it (I am not a med student or never get to an ultrasound tech school so...) but you can now see the figure of your baby, his face whole body. This was told by my cousin whom had a boyfriend from ultrasound technician school. Well he's really not a ultrasound tech but he have learned a lot from that place, I forgot his course but at least he have shared his idea.

knowing who your friends really are...

Really it is hard to find a real person whom will care for you. harder than finding a real friend. You can have your friend, best friend and closest friend but you can never find anyone such true friend. I've been alone since I had a quarrel with a true friend of mine in college. It's been 3 three years and then and can't find anyone like her 'till now. I have tried looking for such and thought that they'll be true to me. I've been honest and loyal to them same as faithful, but I never thought everything changes for any reason.

i have met this lady in our office, she's also alone like me and we've found friendship between as the day goes, by that time I am having a fight with another colleagues in the same office another friend to whom I committed mistake of opening personal things belongs to her. Well I admitted things that I have done wrong yet she and some of her friends judges me to the bottom of the earth. So I had this new friend that I count on in this time of distress. Knowing she'll be with me I have been comforted and confident that she'll be my friend forever.

Trusting this way I have opened my self to her all sorrows and happiness that I had in life and the most important thing in my life of being a mistress of course normally she reacted same as the way you act while reading these lines.

As opportunity comes my way in our fast faced office I have grab the time of applying for a position, knowing that she will stay with me. So the time goes that I become busy of reviewing things as preparation for the position I am longing. In time before she bid for a long time vacation and three weeks before she had hard time of having her ticket reservation. She asked if I could help of course I said yes but it'll come tomorrow after lunch, yet she needs the assistance tomorrow before lunch and it all started there. i don't what cause her to get far from me. Having such predictions in my mind looking for reasons why she's doing such to me, I've found lines telling me "a friend whom never tells you what's wrong after her leaving you is not a friend but an enemy in the eye of envy" I never found this lines again ever and 'till now i am looking for reasons why does this happened to this kind of relationship.

You? 'Till when can your friends be a friend to you?